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Last Wednesday, I headed to the gym and was pumped for a great workout. As I was getting ready to head up to the main workout area, I realized I had forgotten my headphones. Darn it! I had an iPod but no headphones. I really love to exercise to fun music. A good song seems to get me in a better frame of mind, and will actually get me to challenge myself more than I would otherwise. Oh well, right? I survived a decent workout with no music.
At the end, I headed over to the mats to cool down. As I leaned into a hamstring stretch, I noticed a woman on the floor learning how to use a foam roller. Her trainer was teaching her how to get into the correct position. She seemed a little embarrassed by the activity, and then she said this, “I’m sorry for embarrassing you as the fat woman on the floor.”
What?! No! I wanted to go up to her, grab her shoulders and tell her, “You are not embarrassing, you are amazing! Whether you lose weight or not, you are valuable, special. You are beautiful right now. Please don’t discount what you are doing here, please don’t discount yourself.”
I didn’t though. I just finished stretching and watched the trainer awkwardly try to laugh it off. I don’t think he had any idea what to say.
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What would YOU have said?
******edited to ask what would you have said as the trainer?*****
I have that same inner thought process when it comes to working out, like everyone is looking at me and thinking that…its hard to get over something that others have made sure to point out for long periods of time.
I think your thoughts mirror my own. A build up of self worth would help an awkward situation move forward with more vigor.
I don't know if I would have said anything. That's sad though. I hope she has someone in her life that tells her all the things that you said.
I probly would have said something like what you wanted to say. I love to give people compliments randomly. It does bug me tho when some people fish for compliments like when the say they're fat or whatever and expect you to disagree w them 100 times. š
MNM, I understand that! I feel like posting signs on the wall at the gym that say something about how everyone is thinking that everyone else is looking at them, but everyone is really just worried about what they themselves look like! š
Miranda, I edited the post to ask what would you have said as her trainer? I hope she has someone like that too.
Healthy Mamma, I know what you mean. People that fish can get annoying. There was something in her tone and the way she carried herself though that told me she was really hurting.
Oh Alysa! First of all ALWAYS encouraged me, even when I felt like "the fat one" haha Now thanks to you I dont! You DID say all of those wonderful things to me that you wanted to say to her at one point or another.
What would I have said? I probably would've said those things to her. AND given her a huge sweaty hug. I know we all get down on ourselves and sometimes that unexpected compliment a stranger gives us totally helps!
In everyday life I try to compliment people whenever I can and hope that I can put a little smile on their faces. š
As a trainer, I would have encouraged her. Told her she was doing it correctly and maybe point out how much she had lost already. And how close she was to her goal!
I think you should post the signs!
Love ya! Jess
Oh Alysa! First of all ALWAYS encouraged me, even when I felt like "the fat one" haha Now thanks to you I dont! You DID say all of those wonderful things to me that you wanted to say to her at one point or another.
What would I have said? I probably would've said those things to her. AND given her a huge sweaty hug. I know we all get down on ourselves and sometimes that unexpected compliment a stranger gives us totally helps!
In everyday life I try to compliment people whenever I can and hope that I can put a little smile on their faces. š
As a trainer, I would have encouraged her. Told her she was doing it correctly and maybe point out how much she had lost already. And how close she was to her goal!
I think you should post the signs!
Love ya! Jess
If I were the trainer (and quick-witted enough to come up with this on the spot), I'd tell her, "Actually, you're the woman on the floor making your trainer proud for learning yet another exercise & making great progress on her fitness goals."
I can empathize with what sounds like her intimidation about her trainer's fitness. It can be hard to shake the assumption that someone much stronger/faster/leaner than yourself will look down on you. A few ego-boosting words from her trainer would go a long way to dispel that.
Oh, this makes me cry! Mostly b/c I've BTDT, but I know that telling her that wouldn't help much. I have no idea what I would say, but I do wish trainers had more training in this respect. I can only imagine how hard it was for her to sign up with a male trainer to begin with, and to be so self-conscious will only make her journey harder. Poor woman, she needs someone more like you! Miss you!
Having been 380+ pounds, and now about 205-210, I'm often wondering if I should say something to obese folks I encounter. I did have bariatric surgery, and believe for some it could be a life changing… life saving procedure.
But, I also remember what I was like "back then". Nobody could have told me anything that would have changed my mind about what I was doing or not doing at the time.
Similarly to an addict, I had to hit my own "rock bottom" before realizing I needed help. I don't believe reaching out to others is the way to go, but you can, and should, be listening for when someone is reaching out to you so you can be there with
Jess, thank you so much! I loved working with you, and you have done an amazing job. You are one strong mama now!!
Lin, I miss you too! Wish I could put you through a workout right now just to see your glare š
Rob, thank you for sharing that. I felt like she WAS reaching out. First, by being in the gym in the first place and by hiring a trainer. She wasn't fishing for compliments, but maybe trying to get some assurance that she belongs there.
Kat, that's a great answer! I hope that the trainer had time to think and maybe said something like that at their next session.
I would have hoped to be quick witted like Kat. But, I probably would have given the same nervous laughter the trainer did. Which is a major #fail at a critical moment.
Just beautifully put! Encouraging Words… Sometimes we don't have the right words but we really need to award the person when they decide to make a change in their lifestyle routine.
Very well put!
I volunteer to make signs! Sadly I am not confident enought to actually work out at the gym, I am making do with my treadmill and self gym. Down 10 pounds(yeah me) but will probably never be comfortable at a gym.
I enjoy the alone time plugged into my iPod on the gym or catching up on a fav tv series on NetFlix while walking on the treadmill.