Just because I’m good at it, doesn’t mean it’s easy

When friends describe me, the term “laid back” is often used. I’m pretty easygoing. Not much of a planner. I like to go with the flow.

According to StrengthsFinder, one of my top five strengths is adaptability.

As a baseball wife, this comes in handy. Jeff’s job is year-to-year. We don’t have a permanent residence. Since getting married twelve years ago, we’ve moved too many times to count.

We love this life. We know we are supposed to be here. There. Wherever baseball takes us.

We’re good at it.

But that doesn’t make it easy.

This week we will leave Missoula, taking a few days (or maybe more) to make our way back to Phoenix. Glacier National Park and Yellowstone are on the list, and maybe a stop at the lake.

Friends have been asking if I’m excited for the season to be over. I feel guilty when I don’t shout an immediate “YES!” but instead admit to mixed feelings.

Yes I’m excited to hug friends and squeeze babies and be with my family. (And Hobbs, I can’t wait for our reunion with Hobbs!)

But oh to leave this beautiful place where my kids can run free and the fresh air fills my lungs and I don’t have regular internet access…

Also if I’m being honest we left a pretty stressful situation back home (if you are part of my local community you know what I’m referring to), and I’m not anxious to dive back into it.

Maybe I’ve been spoiled this summer. Ok yes, I have been spoiled this summer.  It was basically a three-month vacation for me.

Also, it’s 40 degrees cooler here. You guys, I wore jeans and boots today!

And so in a few days I’ll be heading home a bag of mixed emotions. An overheated bag of mixed emotions.

So friends, I want to ask for some grace this month. Grace to be a mess. Grace to hide out in my house if I need to. Grace to be sad about leaving a place I fell in love with. Grace to be tired. Grace to be me.

  • Heather Filipowicz September 4, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    We have your back. Be a mess. Hide all you want. We have your back.

  • Debbie September 5, 2014 at 3:51 am

    Be safe as you travel home. We have your back as well. We love you.

  • Megan Scott September 5, 2014 at 6:05 am

    We’ll make you dinner 🙂

  • Katie Fox September 5, 2014 at 6:42 am

    I think women everywhere need to make a pact to ban the phrase “Aren’t you excited about…?” Let’s replace it with, “How are you feeling about…?” 🙂 I hope you have safe travels and much grace for the road ahead, literally and figuratively.

  • Caroline Kaufman Nutrition September 5, 2014 at 8:33 am

    What a beautiful, honest post!

  • Beth Learn September 6, 2014 at 7:59 am

    Oh my, I could have written this same post, fellow mama fitness friend! Even the Montana part. We were there for 2 weeks in the summer, no internet, kids running free, no schedule, and I love my life and all that I do with Fit2B, and I’m good at it – but I had mixed feelings. This life is so messy, and you nailed it. Just because we’re good at what we do, and we love it, doesn’t make it easy. But how blessed are we to love the “hard” we are called to? Grace to you. Grace for sure.