Sometimes in this, the social media age, it’s hard to know exactly what the word “friend” means. I’ve been called “friend” by people I’ve never met on Twitter. I have hundreds of “friends” on Facebook, I wave at “friends” across the room at church.
It’s easy to feel surrounded by friends, except how many of these people really know me?
How many of these friends would let me into their house without apologizing for the mess?
How many people know the worst parts about me but love me just the same?
And…am I that person for anyone in my life? Am I a good friend? Do I show up? Do I let anyone see behind the Instagram filter?
In perfect timing, as I have been pondering these questions, Melanie Shankle sent me her new book about friendship. It’s called Nobody’s Cuter Than You: A Memoir about the Beauty of Friendship and releases on April 7th.
Aside from the fact that Melanie always makes me laugh out loud (which can be embarrassing if you’re reading on a quiet plane when everyone is asleep), her books make me want to scream things like, “Yes!” and “Me too!” and “I’m glad I’m not the only one who was drinking my weight in soda and making $50 car-phone calls in college.” (Also maybe I just enjoy not feeling like the only one old enough to know what a car-phone was.)
And this, her new book, is a beautiful memoir of friendship. In fact, I am clicking over to Amazon right this second to order a copy for every one of my friends. (Not every Facebook friend though. I am not made of money.)
Melanie sums up everything I have been feeling lately:
Here’s the thing: it seems that over the last couple of decades we’ve substituted the joy of real friendship with cheap imitations. We settle for “community” on Facebook and Twitter and through a series of text messages that allow us to communicate with someone without commitment. We have a tendency to swim in the shallow pool of relationships because we know that getting deep can equate to being vulnerable. And more often than not, that’s a risk we’re not willing to take. It’s so much easier to just text a few happy-face emojis.
And while I loathe talking on the phone (oh, the anxiety), I think she nails it.
We have substituted meaningful friendship with likes, follows, and filtered realities.
Nobody’s Cuter Than You made my heart swell with memories of childhood friends, college friends, and the women who hold my heart today. I finished the book feeling challenged and inspired to dig deeper, be a better friend, and let real friends see the real me.
Click here to find out more about the book and order a copy for yourself (and all of your friends). There are also free printables like this one:
Want to win a copy of Nobody’s Cuter Than You? Leave a comment below and I’ll randomly pick a winner on Friday. Giveway has ended.
Sounds like an amazing book!
It is sad to me that we as women don’t rely on other women for friendship and transparency. We are not alone….unless we choose to be! Great write up….this book is going on my want to read list
Putting this one on my to read list!
Bigmama’s blog is so fun and so full of truth!
I would love to settle in with this book! Sparkly Green Earrings warmed my heart and made me laugh.
I need more friends like that. Thanks so much for sharing this book and these words. Much needed. Cheers to all you do, Alysa!
Perfect timing ~ Confirmation for all that God is showing me lately, including this article I read on Saturday. This book will be the perfect Mother’s day gift for my best friend Allison ~ who knows all of my “yuck” yet still describes me as the most amazing person. True friendship is indeed precious. (in case anyone is interested this is the article that I read over the weekend then saw yours today. Love how God uses others to speak His loving truth) ~ http://www.thehouseofhendrix.com/2015/04/01/why-women-rock/
There are huge differences in the meaning of the words friends, acquaintances, and “followers”. I learned many valuable lessons about true friendship when I was seriously ill for 3 years. (Nothing like “crap hitting the fan” to show people’s true colors, I’m afraid. A very sad “wake up call” indeed) Honestly, I will never understand how texting became a substitute for conversation and I limit my exchanges with people who only wish to communicate that way. I taught an Interpersonal Communication course for years and I think we’ve lost the art of conversation in so many ways. Thanks for the book recommendation!!
I can’t wait to read it!
I love books that ‘hit home!’ Sounds like a great read!
I have to make it a point not to read her books in bed, because my attempt at silent shake laughing still wakes my husband up every time! Couldn’t agree more. Sadly, I’m still drinking my weight in diet coke. I really need to work on that.
Would love to win this!
Since we go waaay back and I’m one of your “older” friends, i just want to add my 2-cents worth. Your gal pals are THE best gift you can give yourself. No one can take their place and they will always accept you “as you are” and be there for you – NO MATTER WHAT. Social media is not a replacement – it can be an enhancement, as well as a distraction, so it should be used wisely. And you’ve had a better head start than some with your mama and sister. Don’t settle for less than the best – you deserve it! Always, Melissa’s mom 🙂
Love it, thank you for the encouragement. You are right, social media is an enhancement, not a replacement. So thankful for you!
Love Melanie’s books!!
Can’t wait to read this book – I love Melanie and have really enjoyed her other books.
Oh I can’t wait to get this book! Her other 2 books have been great so I know this one will be great too!
Excited to read her new book!!
Can’t wait to read this book!!!
Can’t wait To read it!
This book sounds intriguing. My husband and I have been talking a lot lately about the importance of being intentional about community. It’s important to have “real” relationships and in our “gotta go” culture it’s easy to push it aside. I look forward to reading this book.
This book sounds awesome! I’ve recently taken a break from social media, and I agree, real conversation is becoming a lost art. Its so easy to just click like on fb & be done with it. Now that I’m off fb, I see how lazy I’ve become about maintaining my own friendships, & its made me sad lately.
Love Melanie’s writing. Laughed so hard through “Sparkly Green Earrings” and planning to pick it up at the bookstore for my daughter-in-law next time I’m out. Definitely want to read this latest book. Thanks for the chance to win a copy.
Love her blog. Would love to read her book!
Just added this book to my reading list! 🙂
P.S. I’m not a phone-talker either. I much prefer in-person conversations…or texts, emails, and letters.
Cannot wait to read this book! One of my favorite authors!!
Sounds very in tune to my life right now. Working on quality over quantity in many areas of life, including friends! Need to reconnect in a more meaningful manner with good friends!!
I’ve started to feel…claustrophobic, maybe? with many of the interactions/relationships in my life right now, and I think this hits the nail right on the head. It sounds like a great book!
This looks like a great book!
I can’t wait to read this book. I laughed my way through Antelope in the Living Room, sometimes to the point of embarrassing myself in public. I will be careful to choose the right time and place to read it since it will probably induce fits of giggles and guffaws.
Love!
I can’t wait to read this book!
Winner Winner! I’ll email you 🙂
Would love to read it!
I’m looking for an awesome, funny book to read! Sounds like this one is for me!
I miss you, Alysa. Sure wish we could spend time together every week like we used to, but I’m also so thankful for the times we get together now. Thanks for being my friend.
I would love to win this book! Especially because Big Mama is the name I have given my Higher Power.