The table in our dining room is scratched and dented. There is a chair on each end and benches along the sides. I used to sit here as a child, squeezed in between cousins and aunts and uncles, sipping ruby red grapefruit juice out of a tiny yellow can. The kind with no added sugar that made my mouth pucker and eyes water. My grandpa would sit at one end,…
Recently I’ve had a lot of friends tell me they don’t know how I do it. How do I not go crazy from all our moving and instability and not knowing where we are headed next? First of all, let’s be honest. I’m not perfect, and anxiety sometimes gets the best of me. It’s a lot to take on, this nomadic life we live. But for the most part, I…
Five years ago we moved from Tucson to Gilbert, Arizona. Two weeks ago, we returned from a summer in Montana. One month from now, we will be making another big move. There are boxes everywhere. I have already made two huge hauls to the donation center, with more sure to come. As I stack books and wrap glass in paper, my heart pounds and my mind races. I find myself…
We were reading on the couch one day when she looked up, “Mom, I want to be just like you when I grow up.” What do you mean, sweetheart? “Just that you’re a really good Mommy, and I want to be just like you.” In that moment I realized how much I had been doubting myself as a mom. What a gift she gave me that day. ***** Do you…
I have lived a life of waiting. Probably even more so as the wife of a professional athlete turned professional coach. Waiting for the next call-up. Waiting for two lines on a pregnancy test. Waiting for healthy babies to be born. Waiting for our first house. Waiting for my husband after ballgames. Waiting for stability. Waiting for health and healing. I used to get stuck in the waiting. And to…
It was April 19, 2007 when I waddled into my third checkup in less than a week. At just under 39 weeks pregnant, my blood pressure was creeping up, and they wanted to keep an eye on it. I looked into the mirror and hardly recognized my pudgy cheeks and swollen eyes. Glancing down at my feet spilling out of a pair of Crocs, I pressed a thumb into my…
Certain moments in the lives of my children have turned me into a weepy mess. The last nursing session, the first haircut (he looks so grown up!), the last day of preschool, the first loose tooth (and the first GIGANTIC adult tooth). These are the moments when Jeff and I look at each other, sigh, and say, “Our babies aren’t babies anymore.” But if I’m being completely honest, after the…