Pain comes and goes in my life, but when it comes, it sets up camp for a good while. Weeks at a time when my whole life revolves around pain.
Sometimes chronic pain has a name, most of the time it doesn’t. Sometimes that is the hardest part of all.
Sometimes people think it’s all in my head. Sometimes I wonder if it’s all in my head. Then I feel more pain. Nope, it’s really there.
Sometimes I put on a smiley face and get through the party/function/event. Sometimes I have enough fun that I’m able to forget about my pain for a while. Sometimes my smile falters and friends grab me a comfy chair and tell me not to worry. I can let my guard down. To these friends I say Thank You I Love You To The Moon And Back.
Sometimes pain is only a minor annoyance. Other times pain breaks down the door like a vile monster and demands my ultimate attention.
Sometimes I take medicine and escape from the pain for a few hours. Sometimes I suffer through because I don’t want to escape from my family and friends too. Mostly I just want to stop thinking about it.
Sometimes the pain goes away and I’m reminded of how good it feels to feel good. Sometimes this lasts for a few days, sometimes it lasts mercifully for a few months. I run, I skip, I play. I live these pain-free moments to the fullest.
Sometimes I think I’m ok, so I do something like play too hard with my kids or jump on a trampoline and the pain comes roaring back. (Stupid trampoline!)
I know my version of chronic pain is mild compared to many others. But this is my story. And the truth is, chronic pain is tiring, no matter what version you’re dealing with.
I don’t have a neat and tidy way to wrap up this post, I simply wanted to share my experience. Maybe it will help one of you feel understood and not so alone. Maybe it will help you understand what a friend or family member goes through.
This is my story, and it’s all I’ve got. What’s your story?